My name is Michelle and I am thirty five years old. I am from Jacksonville, FL. I have been married six years and we have a six year old son, Jeremy. We have been through horrible times and I am truly grateful we are still in one piece.I grew up in a very loving home. My parents have been married over forty years. We went to church on Sunday and I went to Catholic school for most of my schooling. I have two older brothers and one sister, Kevin, Jeremy & Julie.
I drank in high school and had tried pot. It was my late late teens, early twenties when I started experimenting with other drugs. Alcohol was always my first choice. I would hang out with friends partying all weekend and that started running in the workweek. I associated drinking with having fun. I didn't want to do anything unless it involved drinking. Going to work with a hangover was common. I functioned well for years. This also led me to believe I didn't have a problem. I hadn't lost anything. I had a fun life.
My brother, Jeremy died when he was twenty three years old. He was in a drug related boating accident. Many peoples eyes would have opened to the dangers of alcohol and drugs. I kept drinking. I didn't realize what I was numbing I should have been feeling and dealing with. My alcoholism got worse and worse over the years. Blackouts were common. Ridiculous behavior was laughed off. I began to drink on my lunch break. Then it was during and after work.
When I was twenty nine, Kevin and I were married. We bought a home and had our son, Jeremy. When I found out I was pregnant, I stopped drinking, with no symptoms of withdrawal. This was my confirmation that I was not an alcoholic. I was the healthiest I had been in years. However, during my maternity leave my drinking picked right back up like I had never stopped. I drank all the time. I had to go back to work before I knew it. I ended up losing my job a year later as a result of my drinking.That would be the first of several . I could not get my act together and could not quit drinking. My problem was becoming " The Problem " of my family. I went into numerous treatment programs. I would do well, go home and be drinking within a few months. I was beginning to believe I was one of the ones who would never get it. I was losing more and more each time I picked up again. I was going to lose my son and my husband.
I knew I was missing something! All of the knowledge I had about my disease wasn't enough. I knew I was powerless and could not do it on my own. The something I was missing, the thing that I was craving, hungry for all that time was a close, intimate relationship with God. I've always believed in God but I wanted to learn how to be near Him. My family found out about the House of Hope and it was exactly what I was looking for. What a wonderful home to come to, live and devote all of my time to what I needed: God. I have so much hope now. It is encouraging to know I can get through this with His help. Knowing and believing that God made me and He can heal me is the most freeing realization I have had my entire life.